Stinky WizzleTeats sings.......

"I told you I'd SHOOT... but you didn't believe me!!!!!"

My childhood (um late teens) was so messed up by this. I still think it's a good song though. Happy, Happy, Joy Joy........

Let the Sex Olympics.... BEGIN!

I am often asked if the Olympic village - the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world's top athletes for the duration of the Games - is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is. I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point.

He got jiggy a total of two times....

Which all begs a question, or possibly many questions. First, and most importantly, how can one get access to the village? The bad news is that you can't, unless, of course, you happen to be an athlete with the relevant accreditation. But secondly, where does this furnace of sexual energy come from? Or, to put it another way, why do sportsmen and women have such explosive libidos? I am not implying, for one moment, that every athlete in Beijing is at it. Just that 99 per cent of them are.

Sorry, but the thought of making love to a Russian shot-putter has left the taste of vomit in my mouth. Also I'm concerned about those Chinese gymnastic under-agers being exposed to all this testosterone fuelled orgies.

I have troubles with viewing

I've been having trouble viewing the latest Unforgotten realms ep. So, I've decided to embed it into my blog. Please watch... (I can't seem to get beyond 10mins before it freezes)

The GOD of geeks!?

His official title is continuity database administrator for the Lucas Licensing arm of Lucasfilm—which means Leland Chee keeps meticulous track of not just the six live-action movies but also cartoons, TV specials, scores of videogames and reference books, and hundreds of novels and comics.
So Chee spends three-quarters of his typical workday consulting or updating the Holocron (Jedi database that looks like a silver cube). He also approves packaging designs, scans novels for errors, and creates Talmudic charts and documents addressing such issues as which Jedi were still alive during the Clone Wars and how long it takes a spaceship to get from Dagobah, where Yoda trained Luke Skywalker, to Luke's homeworld of Tatooine. The Keeper of the Holocron takes this very seriously: "Someone has to be able to say, 'Luke Skywalker would not have that color of lightsaber."

I am still not sure how good/bad a job like Leland's would be.

V is for.... very sore love nuts

Please watch these opening titles for V (1984 TV sci-fi). At 1:24 (or theresabouts) our hero decides to take-out the enemy by risking permenant damage to his reproductive facilities. Which strikes me as being very brave and stupid as surely they will be needed to repopulate our Earth once the lizard-men from outer space have left (taking all our gerbils with them)

Do you want to see some puppies?

Here is my favourite quote from Fundies say the darndest things...

Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that’s not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it’s hard not to lust whilst doing it.

Ray Bellisario?

London’s first proper paparazzo was undoubtedly Mr Ray Bellisario. He is said to have disliked the Queen’s family. This may or may not be true. What is certain is that they disliked him with a vengeance, particularly so Prince Philip. Deeply frustrated, Philip pleaded with the Queen, ‘Can’t we make an exception? Can’t we send him to the Tower?’
She shook her head, ‘Not any longer, dear.’
Ray used to go for long walks down the Mall, pushing a pram, and keeping his eyes peeled for any royal who may have strayed out of the palace or a royal nanny wheeling a push chair. Like a boy scout, he was always prepared. For inside the pram he was pushing was not a wee baby but a wee old fashioned 35mm camera with a long lens.
One of Bellisario’s big early scoops was at Windsor Great Park. He got a tip off that Prince Charles and Princess Margaret used to go water-skiing at Virginia Water on summer weekends. So one night Ray climbed up a tree and sat and waited. His patience paid off. He got a sensational series of shots of Charles clowning around on the water, one hand gripping the ski rope and the other holding a chair behind him, giving the impression he was skiing sitting down.
And then there was Princess Margaret, skiing in a wet suit, the sort of pictures never before seen of the royal family. They were sensational and were splashed across the pages of Paris Match and other foreign magazines. Bellisario is also said to have taken a picture of a topless princess frolicking on honeymoon on the lawns of Balmoral Castle.
He drove Prince Philip potty. In fact the Duke of Edinburgh became really paranoid about Bellisario and started checking out all the suits of armour in the various palaces. He wouldn’t pass a suit of armour without flipping open the visor to see if Bellisario was lurking inside. At the time Philip went around growling, ‘I’ve got a reputation for being nasty to photographers – bloody nasty if they poke a long lens through a keyhole into my private life. I don’t mind photographers doing their job as long as they stick to their designated place.’

Unfortunately I failed to find anything more on Ray or even the infamous Princess Margaret water-skiing picture (on the interweb). The pictures were shown on FIVE last night... so foolishly I thought they would be easy to Google.

WRONG!

Bebo choosen as Earth ambassador - IT'S WAR!!!!

This week it was announced that documentary-maker RDF and Bebo, a 'social networking site' , are to use a big radio telescope in Ukraine to send a powerful focused beam of information - 500 messages from the public in the form of radiowaves - to a nearby star called Gliese 581.

A 'mere' 20 light years (120 trillion miles) away, Gliese may also be home to one or possibly two Earth-like planets.

I have a feeling that if there is a galactic equivelent to an ASBO, then Earth will receive it next week.

Here is an example from the 1st Bebo profile I just looked at...

One stormy night in November my crew went to rob this drug dealer they'd caught out in our turf. They wanted to rob him and make an example of him for selling shit on our patch. I went along coz i knew there was hard cash involved. I didnt care who it was... I was out for that dough. we jumped him quickly to make sure he didn't get a chance to use any weapons. I knocked him to the ground and started layin into him, dragged his hoodie off his head to get a picture of this so called 'top dealer' battered an bruised to bluetooth it to other dealers. that was our trademark.

big shout out to the Gliese westside massive!!!!

The truth is out there

I missed the whole Montauk monster hoo-ha. I saw a few links and noticed it on a few news sites, but I never looked into it. I'm only taking notice now because it seems that we are close to an explanation. I love myth-busting…

According to MontaukMonster.com and seconded by Gotham News and now Gawker, the creature might be a viral marketing prop for an indie movie about carnival subculture entitled Splinterheads, currently filming in Long Island. The film stars Lea Thompson, Rachel Taylor (Transformers) and Christopher McDonald. On the director’s photo blog, Sersen Park, there is an implied shoutout underneath the monster’s pic to Rachel Goldberg—evidently the sister of the film’s producer Darren Goldberg—who “discovered” the monster and went to the press. See: this giggly interview. A few days ago, the above photo was posted on the film’s official website with the words, “We have the Montauk Monster” but this has since been removed. The page is cached here.

The barley field

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Don't really want to say anything about this... just enjoy.

Worlds most sexiest bench... violated

Unfortunately I find this very humorous. Sex with; traffic cones, bikes, teapots, car exhausts and vacuum cleaners… where is it all leading too? Basically, it’s the porn industries fault; they have saturated the market with guy on girl movies and now we must find new ways to get our jollies.
Police in Hong Kong received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. He panicked and called the police to help him.

Thanks goes out to Arbroath for this.

I was told once that the day would come when sex in a bus shelter would be commonplace. I never knew that sex with a bus shelter would become more widespread first.