Tuesday, 25 November 2008

GI Joe (Action Force in UK) list of crazy WMDs.

Original article here. Click pictures for bigger.

How COBRA managed to get pilots brave/drunk enough to man these "Battle Balls" is beyond comprehension. Needless to say if COBRA Commander was US president, then we'd be seeing a lot more Purple Heart decorated officers (and those soldiers would be in boxes decorated by the COBRA flag)

Not to be out done in the Drunk and Stupid department: Some COBRA dudes (With the help/hindrance of WWE rassler Sgt. Slaughter) have taken the boys out in a kick ass hydrofoil to do a spot of fishing. Baldy and Patch (Snake Pliskins good-fer-nothing brother) are seeing who can bag the most Nemos using explosive charges and bullets respectively. If Harbour Patrol had boats like this then maybe there would be less pirates these days...
If you ever played with this toy in your bath, SHAME ON YOU!

My eyes are melting!!!!! The goggles, they do nothing!!!! - final transmission from test pilot 4 whilst field testing the IMP.

The vehicle all COBRA agents would NOT like to pilot. Or for that matter be in front, behind or with in 50 feet of. When I look at this picture all I see is one very scared COBRA soldier looking for the right opportunity to bail and take up his uncle's offer of running the families fish gutting business.

I’m just imagining a movie based on Tom Clancy’s “Red Storm Rising”, but using weaponry designed by the G.I. Joe weapons design team.

“Sir, we have a platoon of Buzzboars approaching our defensive lines in the Fulda Gap”“Mobilize the Armadillos, and get me a Vector Jet in the air - I need an overview of the battle”“Sir! Radar reports a flight of Night Ravens releasing pods!”“Goddammit! Get those captured Bubble Trubbles up there right away! Those poor riders in the Armadillos will be defenseless!”
God that would be awesome. You could have a poignant scene near the end where a volunteer Night Raven pod pilot spends one last night with his true love before heading off to certain death.

*Lovely little comment from the article I just had to show you.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

The new Union Flag

I'm in full support of this... mainly because the Welsh Dragon is Kick ass!!

(and partially because I used to think the Welsh were represented by the white border around the English St. George cross... oh, the shame of my stupidity!)

Friday, 21 November 2008

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

John mazzulla (deleted 16 May 2008 at 16:45)

The coolest kid on the planet. Owner of Patches "the cat" O'Hoolahan and Gizmo And is an /b/tard
BEGININGS John began his life in Barrington, Illinois and resides today in Florida, someplace around the west coast-ish. He likes mogey paws and video games and likes to eat brownies and bacon. Oh and did i mention that he's the coolest kid on the planet? Well he is. Also, you should the Star Wreck: In The Pirkinning, its a great finnish movie that's a parody of star treck.

Far be it from me to argue with the coolest kid on the planet, but the day I watch a Finnish movie called Star Wreck, is the day Hell starts selling ice-cream. (Unless this film by some chance is a porno...?)

Arrrgh... my two favourite things....!!!

Click for bigger

Fry's girlfriend (standing to the left of Bender) just looks wrong.

What's on Toby's mind...?

Dancer : Toby (aged 2)

Artist: The Mopheads

Song:What's on her mind

Director: Bob the Mul (putting on a stupid high squeaky baby voice)

Shaolin Soccer

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

Medical Renaissance: The Secret Code (deleted 03 Mar 2008 at 22:49)

Conventional medicine has failed them. Migraine headache and depression hold the lives of these three patients hostage. But Dr. Norman Shealy and a team of Holistic healers have created a Medical Renaissance with ancient wisdom and new holistic medical tools and treatments. Can the lives of these patients be rescued? Can they discover the Secret Code of health and well-being? Take the journey with them and discover a new approach to health. Founder of the American Holistic Medical Association, inventor of 10 medical devices and author of 24 books, Dr. Shealy takes a brilliant, intuitive approach with an iconoclastic style.

It sounds like an action film... but I'm guessing it's more like those gawd awful infomercials that play on the TV at your doctors surgery. You know the ones you don't want to watch but by the time you've waited 30mins for your appointment you can quote them word for word because you have suffered them about 10 times. If somebody could promise me explosions then this film might be watchable... at least Tom Cruise isn't in it.

Final Fantasy XII stole my life...

For the last, gawd knows how long, I've been trapped in a game of FF12. Normally I get the latest FF game a year after it's been out and it can be found lining the bargain bins of every games shop. I find that by the time a FF game has been out for a year... there will be oodles of game guides available on the internet.

I only joined the FF series at part 9: So my only experiences are of parts 9, 10, 10.2, 12 (No online adventures for me, I survived WoW... and I'm never going back to a MMORPG again!!). What I've found is; at some point (normally half way through a game) a FF game will stop being a new exciting experience and start becoming a monotonous grinding chore. A grind-tastic chore which can only be relieved by getting your hands on a game guide.

I must be at that point... hence my escape to the blog to get a break away from the game. BUT, dropping out of a FF game can be fatal: I have a Dragon Quest game (made by FF makers Squaresoft.. therefore it's just a FF clone) that began to bore me and now lies unfinished. No big deal? I see it like an unfinished book... I want to get rid of it but can't until I finish it.

I'm just not the guy that walks out of a bad film, stops reading a bad story or gives up on a FF game....


Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Grizzly Bear - Knife

It's been around for a while but I still love the video's "WTF" - value

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

Joe Grizzly (deleted 20 Feb 2008 at 05:51)

If you don't hangon to it, Joe Grizzly will kill you, bitch!!

I have no idea what is meant by "it"... just glad "it" was deleted the same day...

Down with the clown..

The NEW Quarter Pounder (is just the same old Mcburger without the razzmatazz)

Japanese minimalism is working its way into the McDonald restaurants of Tokyo. McMinimalism consists of :

2 Choices

No shakes, no pies, no super-sizing, no Happy Meals. Not even a cheery "fries with that?" since they come included with each set. Sounds like an easy McJob to me.

Monday, 10 November 2008

Who would want to be a footballer?

Well there's the Money, cars and sponsorship; the wives and girlfriends (WAGs); adoration of millions... Then there's that crippling disease you will get... You know, that one where most sufferers will die within five years of their diagnosis?

The latest to be stricken is Stefano Borgonovo, a 44-year-old former striker for AC Milan. His announcement that he was suffering from motor neurone disease (MND) was made from a wheelchair with a computer-generated voice. A computer that recognises the series of blinks from his eyes and turns them into words.

Raffaele Guariniello, a magistrate from Turin, enlisted Adriano Chio, a neurologist and Italy’s foremost expert on the condition, to do an epidemiological survey after his own investigation into a high incidence of cancer and heart problems in Italy’s premier league exposed the presence of an even more sinister scourge among the ranks of the retired players.
He discovered that 41 of them had suffered lingering deaths since 1973 from MND, which destroys the body’s motor nerves, eventually resulting in paralysis. Among the victims were Gianluca Signorini, a former captain of Genoa, who died in 2002 at the age of 42, and Adriano Lombardi, a former Como midfielder who died last year, aged 62.
Unfortunately... nobody really knows why...

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Wikipedia: Not, Sh*t-facedipedia!

Skank Juice (deleted 20 Apr 2008 at 01:14)
Skank Juice is a alcoholic beverage consisting of 48 beers (Natural Light is the beer of choice), 1 handle of Vodka (ABC brand of choice), 1 liter of orange soda, and 1 lb and 3oz container of country time lemonade. Make in a large tub, Gatorade cooler works best with nob for pouring, after that sit back and get wasted, drink with care it goes down smooth and is a lot stronger than you think. makes about 4 gallon.

Is this like Vermont Maple Juice? (see post below)


Naked 'screw': No danger to public...

A SHERIFF yesterday said that he could find no significant sexual element in the behaviour of a prison officer who was found “parading naked” on a Fife beach.
Although items including duct tape, condoms, a vibrator and body lotion were found in the man’s camper van, Sheriff George Evans said that he could not find with any certainty that there was a risk on the day of the offence, and he did not place the man on the sex offenders register.
In the dock was Peter Brogan (56), who was appearing for sentence after previously admitting that at Dumbarnie Links, Upper Largo, he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, paraded naked on the beach, and committed a breach of the peace.
The court had previously been told that police officers using a telescopic lens had spotted the accused, and he had walked for about 150 yards then put his shorts on when he became aware of a policeman approaching.

His solicitor stated that there had been fairly glowing testimonies from people who worked with the accused, and media attention from the case had caused difficulties in his employment.
Sheriff Evans said that what the police had come across in the camper van could be said to be highly suspicious.

He fined Brogan £400 but said he would not place him on the sex offenders’ register.

He's looking a bit run down....

Oops, sorry mate, didn't see you there! Blimey, its Lewis Hamilton: F1 champion!
(Was he sleeping rough in the street after too much bubble?)

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Halloween moans... and it's not gouls this time.

Mrs. Bob the Mul is in this picture.. but which witch is she?

OFFICIALS AT one of Perthshire’s top tourist attractions have apologised after they billed the “persecution and torture” of a witch as a “fun” Hallowe’en bash for all the family.

Perth resident Louise Park branded it grossly insensitive and insisted tourism chiefs were guilty of “glorifying the persecution of innocent women.”
Officials last night said sorry for any offence caused, but insisted much positive feedback had also been received.
Visitors to Scone Palace had been invited to witness the trial of Isobel Grierson, who was strangled and burned after being accused of turning the important people of Edinburgh into cats.
“I was shocked to find this event advertised on the VisitScotland website,” Ms Park said.
“It stated it would be ‘fun’ for children to learn about the Scottish witch trials.
“Persecution and torture are hardly fun—the witch trials in Scotland involved the scapegoating of vulnerable women for the misfortunes of individuals or towns or villages as a whole.”
Ms Park said she “could not believe” that children were encouraged to heckle the accused woman during the re-enactment.
“The old festival of Samhain, on which Hallowe’en was based, is about remembering and showing respect for our ancestors, not about re-enacting their abuse.”

A petition calling for a posthumous pardon for women and men who were executed as British witches was presented to Jack Straw on Friday. Campaigners hope evidence of eight grave “miscarriages of justice” will persuade the Justice Secretary to take action.
More than 2000 people were executed in Scotland for alleged witchcraft before the 1735 Witchcraft Act put an end to the trials. The bid to get justice for the victims follows an official pardon granted earlier this year by the Swiss government to Anna Goeldi, beheaded in 1782 and regarded as the last person executed as a witch in Europe.

In a similar vein...I'm going to see if I can get an apology from the Norwegian people for all those nasty Viking raids. Anytime I see someone wearing a horned helmet and sporting a platted beard, I think "Shame on them!"; they are glorifying 100s of years of raping and pillaging... jerks!

Crazy sparky iz under your Merc cuttin your brake cabelz

Bob The Builder (No!! Not me; but some lovable children's fable about a tradesman who does jobs for fun and free... yeah, crazy sh*t!)

A MAN who cut the brake cables on a woman’s car along with the phone line running from her house was jailed at Perth Sheriff Court yesterday.
Andrew Small (45) will spend eight months behind bars after a sheriff said the potential consequences for his terrified victim— who drove 10 miles in the vehicle—did not bear thinking about.

The court heard how Small, who was described as suffering from depression at the time of the offences, held a grudge against the complainer and her partner as he felt he had not received sufficient payment for electrical work he had carried out on their behalf.

The complainer had attempted to drive away from her home in her car after realising the phone and TV were not working on the day in question.
However, she only got as far as the end of her driveway when she attempted to use the brakes and found they were not functioning properly.
Depute fiscal Robbie Brown described how she only managed to bring the vehicle to a safe halt by repeatedly pumping the brakes. She left the car where it was and walked back up the drive to collect her partner’s vehicle—another Mercedes.
“She drove a few miles down the road, then noticed the brake warning light was illuminated,” Mr Brown told the court.
“She continued to Auchterarder and took the vehicle to a local garage where a problem with the brake fluid level was diagnosed. It was topped up but on the way home the warning light again came on.
“In total the complainer drove a round trip of about 10 miles.”
Mr Brown said that on her arrival back home the complainer noted that the TV and phone lines to her home had been deliberately severed.
On looking underneath her car she further realised that various cables—relating to the brakes and power steering—had been interfered with.
“The complainer was extremely alarmed by all this and contacted the police,” he said.
Mr Brown said suspicion quickly fell upon the accused who was subsequently arrested.

I'm no fan of tradesmen: they make obscene amounts of money per hour and turn what should be a quick fix into a job that requires several days of tampering. Now I am seriously considering doing everything myself - regardless of making a DIY disaster. I'd like to think that even the worst botched job I can produce is better than Bob the Builder trying to assassinate my entire family.

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

Just Bleed Guy (deleted 08 May 2008 at 21:40)

Just Bleed Guy
Widely regarded as the ultimate symbol of the UFC's early, no-holds-bared years in which they were banned from Pay Per View, the drunken fan known as the "Just Bleed Guy" has become a viral icon for MMA fans.
With the slogan "Just Bleed" painted on his bare chest and "UFC" painted on his forehead, the fan proceeds to flex his muscles and attempt to make an "intimidating" face, which turns out looking like someone having to go to the bathroom while being filmed in the crowd at UFC 15- Collision Course.
The Just Bleed Guy is a common topic on Sherdog.com radio programs as well as forum topics, including radio host Jordan Breen attempting to track down the Just Bleed Guy who has not been seen since his original UFC appearance. This led to a forum member reporting the following:

"The guy above’s name is James Ladner, and you can all rest easy about mocking him because he’s in jail and can’t hurt you. At least until 2013, anyways. The charge? Receiving stolen property … farm equipment to be specific. Who knew getting caught chucking corn with a stolen corn chucker gets you eight years in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison? I guess the term ‘Just Bleed’ takes on a whole new meaning now."

A Google search of James Ladner reveals this Mississippi police profile that outlines his 8 year sentence: http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/InmateDetails.asp?PassedId=124583
Another interesting note is that the man in the white shirt to the Just Bleed Guy's left appears to be taking a "hit" of a marijuana cigarette.

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Yummy... no WAIT!!!

We are Famil(l)y....

A Spanish quartet of jolly F1 (some kind of grown up Scalextric game?)supporters were spotted in the stands wearing what can best be described as: One of this year's best "Ha Ha jokes on you - you can't even spell you bunch of tools" photos.


I hope the black boot polish doesn't get stuck in the pores of your perfect, sun damaged, olive hued, leathery, pre-carcinoma skin. I really do.

Brought to my attention by some dude who is v. funny.

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

Jenny Henderson (deleted 17 Apr 2008 at 22:00)

Jenny Henderson (born c. 1980) is a controversial actor, singer-songwriter and lesbian activist from Portobello, Edinburgh.
Henderson began songwriting as a result of being held under house arrest by her parents for persistent shoplifting. Her singing received a complete lack of interest from anyone. Despite the discouragement of her parents, Henderson began performing in various cafes and youth hostels in the Edinburgh area. She eventually financed her own album entitled Touching myself on Tuesdays, which features lyrics inspired by Henderson coming to terms with her lesbianism.
She embarked on an Nc in performing arts at Edinburgh's Telford College, but was expelled after the use of full frontal nudity in a contemporary dance project.
Deciding to create her own work, Henderson wrote a musical called "Rubbin'" about lesbian bus drivers at a Portobello terminus. The show ran for six performances at the 2004 Edinburgh Fringe festival to largely negative reviews, however the Edinburgh Lesbian Gazette called the piece "a highly entertaining and moving musical portrayal of contemporary Scottish homosexual women". Others were not so impressed, the Edinburgh Theatre press said the piece was "not only insulting lesbians and bus drivers, but to anyone with the intellectual capacity to get themselves dressed in the morning".
In 2006 Henderson formed a friendship with transgender poet and folk singer Bintie McBain. Together they embarked on an extensive tour of small venues throughout Scotland, often meeting with hostility from the locals, particularly in Oban, where a dead sheep was left on the roof of their transit van.
Henderson's next project is a play based on the life of notorious Portobello serial killer Rampant Annie. Annie terrorized the community in 1890 by suffocating unsuspecting fishermen after intercourse. The show is due to be premiered in Edinburgh on Christmas Eve 2007.

I've never been to Oban but I'm sure they look after their sheep better than that. Oh, if only even one sentence of this entry was true: all pure fiction I'm afraid, alas.

My little Jesus pony

About Kota The Dinosaur – Triceratops from Playskool

  • Animatronic, life-size baby dinosaur stands over 3 feet tall!

  • Responds to your voice and touch with roaring and laughing sounds, expressive tail, head, eye, mouth and horn movements
    Plays 4 different adventure-themed tunes

  • Convenient volume control switch

  • Dinosaur figure comes with leafy snack for feeding time

  • Product Dimensions approx: 54 cm x 97 cm x 74 cm

  • Kota The Dinosaur weights approx 16kgs
    Kota The Dinosaur is made by Playskool, the well know manufacturer of quality children's toys.

  • This amazing toy makes a great gift for ages 3 to 130!

Rocking horses have never looked so dull thanks to Kota the Dinosaur. This incredible robotic toy has moving facial features and tail, giving a wonderfully realistic feel without the stampeding.

Rejoyce Creationalist Christians everywhere - now you too can live in the biblical times on your own Jesus pony. Be you 3 or even 130! Unfortunately the damn thing doesn't ever walk so I'm calling RIP OFF!!!!

Lando FTW!

Even though a little part of Billie Ray Cyrus' (oops: Billie Dee Williams') acting integrity had to be sacrificed for this... I think it may have been worth it for producing PURE NERD GOLD!

Damn Funny or Die videos NEVER embed properly! So click here

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Bob's holiday snaps...

I was quite taken by this ladies T-shirt (even though there were no boobies in them at the time); I saw it in a market in Salou, Spain.

for your viewing pleasure in glorious Engrish:



Even my best efforts of inserting punctuation marks failed to assist me in making any sense of this.

How Grandad George got Granny Mildred into the sack

1950s Dating Tips

Gee things are happening!! Making the first move towards a girl is like diving into a communal pool:

  • One of you asshole friends is going to make you look stupid by trying to sneak up and push you in.

  • You'll end up with liquid in your face.

  • You'll probably end up with wet pants too.

If all else fails you can end up talking about "Mildred's new dog"?

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

Samantha Rogers of the united states (deleted 24 Apr 2008 at 14:20)

Samantha grew up in illinois, USA. she has been Queen since 8:34 AM on April 24, 2008.

Oh... how does the saying go: Queen for a day, fool for a lifetime? Or, Queen since 8:34am, deleted from Wikipedia come 2:20pm?