Dog vs. Dog

The owner has given his pet a complex about making a fashion statement. Proof that, even in the canine world, the nail that sticks out gets hammered down.

Cat vs Dog.... which will win?

Obvious really. You're a fool if you thought otherwise.

I have an award for you

Just an idea taken from someone and given form by me... now I just have to wait for a troll on B3ta so I can use it.....

Jeremy Clarkson - Beat Box

Nicely done

Go-wan Sheep show us how it's done

Clickage here required to animate

Or go TILE tasstic with this!!

I just can't express my manlove for Sheep in words

I'm in love with a film trailer

Hmmm... can't really summarise this in any way...



So... What did you think?

The narrator in the iron lung did it for me... I think he might have been wanking throughout the entire clip (and probably climaxed a few times by the sound of it)

Drama... suspense....

Slo Water from youdiejoe on Vimeo.

Just recovering

Where is my head?

I'm back on the net after a little absence (to make your heart grow fonder...of course). I picked a bad time to come back; as the B3TA image challenge this week was "Kitten Sport"... So, after everyone had exhausted every permutation of a kitten in place of a ball, a kitten's head plastered on a sportsman or computer ports plastered on a kitten... I swanned in with this effort.
I think we can all agree that nothing more needs to be said (lets keep those comments at zero people).

I've never actually eaten a Ritter Sport because I had a Middle class upbringing and we generally frowned upon splashing out £1 for a 2" biscuit. I see it as an aspirational thing that once it gets to the attention of the masses we will see Chavs flaunting their Ritter Sports and Rap stars including them in their rhymes:

I can't believe in a gurl mo fitta
I wanna do yo now in yo shitta
Then we kick on back and eat a Ritta (sport)

I'll probably buy a Ritter Sport gift pack for this years Christmas and hang them on my tree... to show off to the neighbourhood.

Can you improve on the humble tampon?

^Click it and you might be able to read it

More B3Ta tosh and pish for you. The image challenge task was suitably vague and undoubtedly misinterpreted by myself and 85% of the B3TA board: "Reinvent the wheel". The image challenge was suggested by Happy Toast.... but he failed to clarify what the chuff the challenge was about and also failed to post anything close to matching his usually high calibre of WOO!

I failed to make the front page (again) but I still haven't turned to drinking myself into a stupor. This weeks challenge is: Make a picture out of letters.... NUTS to THAT (so this will be a week off from B3TA... and my 1st image challenge I have dodged).

Is the rot setting in?

I will eat your SOLE...

I'm gonna see Star Trek...

Woo and a Yay.

This is a Burger King advert about "Kingons" (if you were wondering). I have no collectors memorabilia they would be interested in stealing from me with their Dance of Seduction... but tch you win some lose some.

Twitter witch of the West

No, I'm not Twittering... I'm still B3TAing. This weeks challenge involving images is all about twitter. Yes, there's plenty of Shitter,Twatter,Bitter and worse puns on display.

Childish... making fun of foreigners

Tch... nawty nawty!

100% genuine Troll Bait!

In time he will live to regret this video... (about 1-2days after posting it?).

I love Tits... (edit now he's Faceburger)

"Tits" (edit now Faceburger) is his user name on B3TA... and he produces much arf! Don't know what he's like as a person... but on B3TA, personality counts for nothing! Just look at the piccy wicks...

Video Games of the 80s, where are they now...?

Fact: Custer was getting jiggy with T. Hawk's momma. (Turok was non-too-pleased about the whole situation either). Custer you bastard, you deserve everything that's coming to/in you. Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed this is a recent B3TA post/compo thingy I did. I just get wrapped up in one part of the internet at a time. I'll probably be over B3TA in a month ... and then ... I dunno... Twitter I guess? kill me now!

Obey the rules

Another thing I did for B3TA (yes it seems like that's all I do these days) So anyhoos
The image challenge was: taking instructions from the net you had to then alter them. I think the Duck Fisting was popular with the B3TANs... (the Zalgo thing is just...annoying) It does bring back memories of going to the swimming pool in Montrose and as I stared at the notice I would wonder what "petting" was... the salad days of innocence.

BTW here's The original

Mummy where does candy floss come from...?

Click picture for readable

I guess I'm well on my way to being a B3TArd... but then I thought I was a blogger at one point (and my interest began to fade). I just don't know what to do with my life anymore...

9am this saturday: don't miss...

Will the comedian get that kiss?

Calvin the teenager...

Chuck it on the bonfire like that Velvetine rabbit (sorry if I spoiled the ending of Velvetine rabbit for you)

Bob's upcoming feature...

The battle of the Jonnies... hmmm... that sounds just wrong.

Bob's Bwa ha ha of the day...

Clash of the Titans

For my 201st post I give you...

My son Toby aged 3 and 3months vs. Old Plastic tub containing toy tools.

C'mon there my son you've got to want it: Eye of the Tiger!

Up your's stupid frat boy....

Easy to understand: 3 simple DON'Ts about chopstick etiquette.

An old toy in the attic... wtf?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Twitter... in a nut shell...

Click the pic for a bigger pic

Not being a big fan of Twitter you can say I'm being bias ... and of course you'd be right. Still doesn't change the fact that Twitter has fallen into the wrong hands... the mass populace. I'm going by the principle that 80% of anything is composed of shit/white space/boredom/morons etc.. thereby making mostly anything majority shitty. Take this blog for example; I have to slack very hard to keep my shit content level up to 80%.

Twitter is 20% non-shit though and I don't have to tell you that. I just can't seem to find that part of it at the moment.

Misrepresentation...

From the 80s comes the USA VHS cover art for Warriors of the Wind. The Miyazaki (of studio Ghibli, Spirited Away fame) classic that was badly dubbed and trimmed of .... wait for it... NOT the violent bits, but the slow bits. If I was still a tweenager then hell yeah I'd be all for trimming off the fatty story bits of any cartoon! But, because I'm an adult that still watches cartoons I'm shocked (in a nerdy OMFG WTF way) that the plot could be butchered: I love this movie and I loved the manga even more so. I digress, if anything is worth shedding tears over then its tears of laughter, over this cover art.

1. There are no robots in this film... and especially NO ROBOTS WITH LASER ARMS.
2. There are no scenes with people riding spice worms from (the film) Dune. I will concede that it bears a passing resemblance to the GOD WARRIOR in the film... but, wisely, nobody rides it.
3. A Pegasus? There are no horses in this film... and especially NO WINGED HORSES.

This picture (of princess Nausicaa) is the only art required on the cover: except they've removed her trousers...? A popular myth about this film was that the princess wore no pants... but that's myths for ya.

Gawd bless you USA for your awsome 80s VHS/GAME/RECORD covers that in no way refelct the quantity/quality of what lies in store for the hapless consumer. You jaded a generation of kids... you yuppie ad-exec scumbags!

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day

The Burlington Bay Ghost (deleted 25 Aug 2008 at 09:21)

The Burlington Bay Ghost Back in the 1800s, a young man worked with two shipmates who were not so fond of him on a cargo ship. One day, while he was working, he lost his footing and his leg got caught in between the dock and the ship. He tried pulling his leg out and asking his shipmates to help him. Unfortunately before he got his injured leg out, the ship came into the dock and completely crushed his leg.

His shipmates, who did not much care for the young man, simply picked him up and abandoned him behind a tavern. The mans bloodcurdling screams could be heard throughout Burlington Bay. The tavern owner heard him and went to investigate, only to find a young man on a bench screaming in pain with a bloody, crushed leg. He took him into the tavern and laid him on a table, called the doctor and waited with the young man. The doctor arrived, assessed the situation, and decided to amputate.

With only the simplest of tools, a saw, and no anesthetic, the young man was in even more pain as the doctor sawed off his leg, right there in the pub. After completely amputating the young mans leg completely, the poor man died.

If you're walking along the shore of Burlington Bay on a foggy morning, you can still see an old cargo ship, and hear the bloodcurdling screams of the young man who died. Sounds like a promise?

References

I got this story of the show "Creepy Canada", and I give all the credit to them for my knowing this story, because otherwise I would not have ever even believed in ghosts.

NO, you don't reference ghost stories! If you are seated around a camp fire telling the type of story that makes grown men wet their tighty-whiteys... you don't reference your material (certainly not "Creepy Canada"). If you must; then use,"When I was told this story by a man who in the Burlington Bay bar I laughed at him... but when he left the table he was hopping... ON ONE LEG.... torch under face BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!"

Bob's (other) Deletionpedia page of the day

Differences between book, film and TV versions of M*A*S*H (deleted 14 Mar 2008 at 05:44)

Uhh... yeah you read it right. Somebody took the time to point out to you the differences between M*A*S*H in these 3 medium. HERE IN FULL DELETED GLORY.

Here's a summary:

Hot Lips' shower scene: Hinted in book/In full glory in Film/some gags on TV.

Therefore... just watch the film

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day....

NoobEgg (deleted 14 Jun 2008 at 19:49)

NoobEgg is a Beginner in Maple Story who is the highest leveled Beginner in Khaini. Khaini being a world in Maple Story. You can check the rankings of this character by visiting this website: www.maplestory.nexon.net and go to the rankings and search "NoobEgg". NoobEgg is indeed a male but uses a female character because "the girl NX is better". NX is a simulated form of cash used in the game that can be purchased in various ways. NoobEgg has other nicknames such as "NX Whore", "Tay", and many others.

It takes more than being the best at Mapel Story to cut it in the World of Wikipedia. Now, if he had the highest ever Space Invaders score.... *whistle*

John from Cincinnati withdrawl..

I really miss John from Cincinnati... there's nothing on the TV that's so wonderfully intriguing or borderline insane. Unfortunately the show was cancelled and with just one season... no answers were ever given to:

What/who was John?
Where did he take Shawn?
Who was Johns father?


... oh well, they've left a tantalising mystery that will never be solved... and in this age of SPOILER ALERT maybe not knowing the answers is better for us all.

I only have:
GENERATION KILL
BURN NOTICE
BATTLESTAR GALLACTICA
left for me on the TV just now.

(except I shamelessly enjoy Hulk Hogan's Celebrity championship wrestling... shhhhhh don't tell anyone)

Choo Choo here comes the liquid nitrogen train!

Going to the doctor to get your warts burned off, will now be a lot more interesting. The liquid nitrogen train will be arriving at the station on time.

Hmmm... a train that works better when it is cold you say?

I better work fast... or Virgin trains will snap up the idea before me!

Beck's E-Pro 8 bit remix

Official video for Beck's "Bad Cartridge" which is an 8bit remix of "E-Pro" by Paza from the Guerro album (Interscope 2005). The song is also featured in Guerrolito, the remix album. Video directed by Wyld File. Love it, love it, love it... it brings back so many happy memories of loading screens on my ATARI ST.

Fun at work with a singing dog...

January can be a mean month... so just add a singing dog into your work schedule and ka-pow hey presto. Chase those January blues away.

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day....

Wikifur (deleted 24 May 2008 at 19:43)

WikiFur is a wiki created by and for the furry community, founded in July 2005 to represent furry culture and history. Like Wookieepedia, Memory Alpha and other fan encyclopedias, WikiFur covers topics which rarely meet Wikipedia's verifiability standards. Like this page...

WikiFur's userbase primarily consists of furry fans, and content focuses on points of interest for the fandom, including virtual communities, comics and other media relating to anthropomorphic animals. Regular events and furry conventions like Anthrocon and Further Confusion are also covered. Editors are permitted to contribute to articles about themselves as long as they comply with the neutral point of view policy. All text content is licensed under the GFDL, with news also available under a Creative Commons Attribution license.

WikiFur is hosted by Wikia, and has become one of their larger and more active wikis, featured in December 2005, with a count of over 9,000 articles as of March 2008. It is listed on the Ursa Major Awards Recommended Anthropomorphics List.

Three weeks after its foundation, WikiFur was selected as Something Awful's Awful Link of the Day. Massive vandalism ensued, but the boost in traffic allowed rapid growth. More orthodox attempts at promotion have included the distribution of flyers, ribbons and membership cards, and the use of Google AdWords. Active localization projects exist in Czech, German, French and Portugese.

This page was created 26 September 2007 and deleted 24 May 2008 (241 days... impressive). So why did it get the ugg boot (see.. that's a furry boot... oh, ho, ho I crack meself up, so I do)? Unfortunately it's not because it's un-noteworthy, nor even that it just ceased to exist (the streets are not safe) but because "Furry Fandom" seems to be the page that you will be directed to if you type in wikifur whilst searching Wikipedia... if your into that kind of hirsute pursuits.

Cookie Monster cupcake...

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.... yum, yum, yum!

Hmmm... wait a second: is it just me or does it look like it's made out of Play-Doh? Pffffft... I'd still eat it even if it was....

Ahhhh... good old GUBA...

Just thought I should do this for anyone curious about what video+track results in...

STEAM.... kareoke...

So it would seem...YouTube will let you watch a video but not necessarily listen to the video you're watching at the same time. In this instance it works for me; because Gabriel's Steam is more a music video that is heavy on the video and optional on the music. Heck I can hum Sledgehammer whilst watching this and still get the same result (in actual fact I couldn't get Big Time out of my head... that just seemed to work better)

This video contains an audio track that has not been authorised by all copyright holders. The audio has been disabled. More about copyright

Right sod you... I'm off to Metacafe!

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day...

Galaxy (typeface) (deleted 02 Jun 2008 at 00:43)

Galaxy is a 1992 typeface by Bitstream Inc. designed to resemble the title credits from the Star Trek movies. It was originally released under the name "Star Trek Film BT".

Yeah.... that kinda typeface would get annoying, very quickly...

Who doesn't loves a conspiracy...?

Aerolinee Itavia Flight 870, also known in the Italian media as the Ustica Massacre ("Strage di Ustica"), was an Italian flight that suffered an in-flight explosion while in route from Bologna, Italy to Palermo, Italy. June 27, 1980.

Some of the Italian Air Force officials who might have known about the disaster's background died suddenly.

* August 3, 1980: Col. Pierangelo Teoldi, was nominated to become Commander of Grosetto AFB, but had not yet assumed command as of date of death - Car accident.
* May 9, 1981: Maurizio Gari, Poggio Ballone air defense radar controller - heart attack at age 37.
* March 20, 1987: Licio Giorgieri, Italian Aircraft Registry Commander - killed by a communist terrorist group. (see it:Unità Comuniste Combattenti)
* March 31, 1987: Mario Alberto Dettori, Poggio Ballone air defence radar controller - suicide by Hanging.
* August 12, 1988: Ugo Zammarelli, Cagliari Italian Army Intelligence's Service Cagliari Section (see it:SIOS) - hit and run by motorcycle.
* August 28, 1988: Mario Naldini and Ivo Nutarelli, Italian Air Force strike pilots crossed Flight 870s path on June 27th over Tuscany - mid air collision during the 1988 Ramstein Air Show.
* February 1, 1991: Antonio Muzio, Lamezia Terme control tower Marshal - murdered, culprits unknown.
* February 2, 1992: Sandro Marcucci, Italian Air Force 46a Aerobrigata Pisa pilot - air crash during a wildfire firefighting operation.
* February 2, 1992: Antonio Pagliara, Otranto air defence radar controller - car accident.
* January 12, 1993: Roberto Boemio, Chief of Staff, 3a Air Region, Italian Air Force - knifed during a robbery.
* November 2, 1994: Gian Paolo Totaro, Italian Army Major medic - suicide by hanging.
* December 21, 1995: Franco Parisi, Otranto air defense radar controller - suicide by hanging.
* April 4, 2002: Michele Landi, IT consultant for the Italian government and for the same Procura that was on the Itavia 870 case - suicide by hanging (soon after he revealed he had come in the possession of information regarding the incident)

"I'll never apologize for the United States of America..."

George H.W. Bush (you know.. the older one ... that hates broccoli?)

In August 1988 Newsweek quoted the (then) vice president as saying

"I'll never apologize for the United States of America. Ever, I don't care what the facts are."

in regard to the shooting down of Iran Air Flight 655, also known as IR655. A civilian airliner shot down by US missiles fired from the USS Vincennes on Sunday 3 July 1988, whilst flying in Iranian airspace over the Strait of Hormuz.

You know what?

More than 30 years on... and still no apology for: killing all 290 passengers and crew aboard, including 66 children, ranking it seventh among the deadliest airliner fatalities.

Bob's Wikipedia page of the .. um... day as well....

Mana Wahine Te Ira Tangata

was a small and short-lived political party in New Zealand. It was established by Alamein Kopu, a member of the New Zealand Parliament who had left her original party (the Alliance). After a short time as an independent MP, Kopu established Mana Wahine as her own party. It was officially registered on 12 June 1998.

The name "Mana Wahine Te Ira Tangata" is difficult to translate, but essentially refers to dignity or respect for women. Kopu claims that the party was intended to support Māori women, promoting a Māori form of feminism. Critics of Alamein Kopu, however, did not see the party as a genuine ideological organization. Rather, they saw a more cynical reason for the party's creation - as leader of a party rather than an independent, Kopu was entitled to $80,000 in additional funding. Jim Anderton, leader of Kopu's former party, said that the creation of Mana Wahine approached corruption, a sentiment which was echoed by several other politicians.

Kopu (and thus Mana Wahine) closely followed the National Party government of Jenny Shipley. National, having recently ended its coalition with the New Zealand First party, was highly interested in finding additional parliamentary support. It is sometimes claimed that National's influence was instrumental in gaining Mana Wahine official recognition as a party, and many members of the Opposition claimed that this help was given in order to secure Mana Wahine's vote – Trevor Mallard, a Labour Party MP, openly called it a "bribe".

Mana Wahine contested only two elections. The first was the Taranaki-King Country by-election in 1998. The Mana Wahine candidate, Mary Gilmore, received seven votes. In the 1999 general election, Mana Wahine failed to submit a party list, with Kopu saying that she missed the deadline by just minutes. The party nevertheless contested twelve electorate seats, gaining a total of 1,082 votes across the country. Kopu herself contested the Waiariki electorate, and gained sixth place with 1.70% of the vote.

12 February 2001, Mana Wahine was removed from the list of registered political parties at its own request.

Bob's deletionpedia page of the day...

Ding-isms (deleted 06 Aug 2008 at 11:23)

Ding-isms (noun)

• 1) an ism is something done in an act of ding.

Ding-isms are named after the famed Lord Ding, a muppet if ever there was one.

one example of ding-isms is seeing apparitions of the dead, in a similar form to Jesus walking on the water in the Sea of Gallilee, The Ding-ism of seeing a dead ghost walking on the Newcastle Boating lake has appeared several times.

Other forms Ding-isms can take is Ding-Fu - a legendary fighting skill developed and honed over time where much Like Bruce Lee's legendary Jeet kune do combat form, Lord Ding was able to pre-empt grabs and gropes coming his way, and even able to ward off multiple attackers at once.

Ding-isms can take many forms, many with biblical references and connotations. from likening himself to Judas by accepting 30 pieces of silver betraying his lord, and cohorting, with Casper McAneenaw, to being the proverbial man about town attending many wakes, funerals and weddings, seemingly at random. Legend has it that when the great Lord Ding was on Holiday with his civil parner no-hair in Gay Capital of the World: San Fransisco where he bought a local newspaper, went directly to the births, deaths and marriages section, and seen that a funeral was taking place for an italian man, so Lord Ding attended it, just for the egg and onion sandwiches and tea afterwards.

Everywhere I turn on the interweb, I bump into some mentalist...

Sex crimes and the Vatican...

From Wikipedia
Sex Crimes and the Vatican (2006) is a documentary film (39 min) filmed by Colm O'Gorman, who was raped by a Catholic priest in the diocese of Ferns in County Wexford in Ireland when he was 14 years old. Father Seán Fortune was charged with 66 counts of sexual, indecent assault and another serious sexual offence relating to eight boys but he committed suicide on the eve of his trial. Colm started an investigation with the BBC in March 2002 which led to the resignation of Dr Brendan Comiskey, the bishop leading the Ferns Diocese. Colm then pushed for a government inquiry which led to the Ferns Report.

It was filmed for the BBC Panorama Documentary Series which charged that the Vatican used a secret document, Crimen sollicitationis, to silence allegations of sexual abuse by priests and that Crimen sollicitationis was enforced for 20 years by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger before he became the Pope. This allegation had been disputed on a number of grounds [National Catholic reporter article here].

What I do to you Evil Jack...

your names are dumb?

"mara". the name mara, in the readings of buddhism, essentially means "evil bitch from hell". which brings me to my point: this nickname is retarded.

mara is short for tamara, but not really, because it doesn't cut "tamara" short, it cuts tamara before it even begins. this is not a nickname, this is the suffix of a name.

i will prove that this is stupid empirically. let's say that i wanted you to go to the kitchen, but instead i told you to go to then "chen". you would have no idea what i'm talking about, and therefore anyone who asks me to call them "mara" should be shot.

it should be law that anyone who arbitrarily truncates the first half of their name is required to be called "asshole" until they die. this actor who calls himself "topher grace" has adopted what must be the dumbest name of all time, and his credits would be a lot less offensive if it was listed as "asshole grace" instead. children all over the world would appreciate this fine name in the credits for win a date with ted hamilton, spiderman 3, and other crappy movies full of assholes.

you might be asking by this point, if someone named christopher can't call themselves topher, is it ok for them to call themselves chris? of course it is, this is a stupid question. "chris" is the beginning of a name, and by calling people "chris" we increase the efficiency of our communication without introducing any ambiguity. plus, we flaunt our capacity for being lazy, which as we all know is the true american dream.

then there are people named "robert" that call themselves "bob". this is possibly the most dickhead move you could make. this isn't a prefix, it isn't even a suffix, this is just plain re-writing. to all "bobs", "jacks", and "bills" who weren't born with the name, a better re-writing of your name would be "fuck you".

Jack: originally a pet name for John. Only been a given name since 19th centuary (Captain John Sparrow at your service). So if I said to whoever wrote this, "I'm going to Spain on a plane" he'd be confused and say, "You dumb shit you're going to Spain on an Aero!"?

Mmmmm Aero... yummy

Not entirely sure who wrote this but I found it here theworstthingever.

From the childhood of Bob comes...

KO century beast warriors (Yes it's from the era where Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles raised the bar for crazy cartoon titles; the age of ACRONYM animations.)



I feel cheated that the episodes I saw were so poorly* dubbed into English that I felt a pang of shame in the pit of my stomach anytime my parents caught me watching it. I still have the video and hmm... no, I wont be watching it anytime soon. This YouTube clip has saved me the bother.

*Poorly dubbed by the people at AnimeUK (short lived anime mag either way ahead of it's time or just a pile of poo: I do remember the mag hypocritically moaning a lot about badly dubbed anime... shame on them!)

Bob's Deletionpedia page of the day...

Crinkle Cut Jones (deleted 22 Apr 2008 at 05:22)

Jameson "Crinkle Cut" Jones is the generally credited with inventing the so-called "crinkle cut" french fry. Prior to his invention, all french fries were either cut by hand from a potato or run through a grid to cut a uniformly straight fry. Crinkle Cut Jones, as he came to be known, wanted a more visually interesting fry to distinguish his from his competitors. While not a popular as straight cut or steak fries, the crinkle cut has a good portion of market share and is beloved by many. Thanks to the innovations of Crinkle Cut Jones, we all have a little more french fry variety in life to be thankful for.

Um... what? I want to believe this and I also want Crinkle Cut Jones to appear on a bag of crinkle cut chips (fries) in the same way Tony the tiger does: "Theeeeeeere.... Crinkly!"

French Fort Boyard kicks our Fort Boyard's ass...

Ah... the French! Scenes like these would have helped rescue the ratings of the doomed game show. Hmm... have these women been exploited? As far as I remember the female team kit was always scoop neck (never saw one polo neck). So, any woman who did go on that show knew just how much "exposure" they were going to be subjected to. Mild titillation at best, a pervs paradise basically... for your dad to watch on Saturday night and claim it was a Game show...



So what did the British Fort Boyard have; big deal we had Melinda Messinger in our Fort Boyard.. big whoop!?