Saturday, 30 August 2008

Julie Moult (annoys geeks)

Like the swot in your high school math class that would never give you the answer (or even a hint) to that complex logarithm equation.... B3ta are very protective of their work. Julie Moult is learning the hard way that it is probably best to try and avoid this collective of nerdy virginal misfits. I agree with this (even though I'm a plagiarising SOB) attempt to shame a tabloid journalist into re-thinking how she approaches members of this clique in future.

Here's the link to Bloggerheads (oh, I see.... loggerheads.... how drole)

Cyclists vs. Cars (to be honest it's more Hippies vs. Society)

Crazy Anti-Car Protesters - Watch more free videos

2007 - Video Result: ONE bike loss and TWO disabled pensioners severely verbally abused.

BONUS POINTS given to hippies for attacking with distressed kids.

OVERALL RESULT: BIKES LOOOOOOSE! Hippies end up looking like hysterical whiny teenagers.

Demonstrator Gets Run Over - Watch more free videos

2008 - Video Result: TWO bike losses (with questionable foot crush) much threatening of death to car driver.

BONUS POINTS: To overacting hippie who sacrifices toes for the cause. Also bonus points to random car driver woman who asks question "What is this about?".... and fails to get answer.

OVERALL RESULT: TIE overaggressive driver fails to win by hit and run tactics and hippies once again end up looking like hysterical whiny teenagers.

David Duchovny... method actor

It has come to my attention that David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. The 48-year-old actor said he did so voluntarily, in a statement released Thursday by his lawyer, Stanton Stein. He added: "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."
Duchovny's publicist, Flo Grace, confirmed the report, which first appeared on the Web site She and Stein both declined further comment.

Oh for crying out loud, he was the presenter in the Red Shoe Diaries. A man can only be subjected to so much soft core porn before he breaks. With his recent stint in Californication perhaps it was inevitable.

But as a fellow family man I can only waggle my finger at you David and say, "Tsk,tsk!". That's the only thing I'm going to waggle though... you dirty minded sods.

Is it Very Cool or Extremely Stupid?

WARNING! The screaching burning rubber noise as the car powerslides is annoying!

I've been saying it for years.. Google maps... is pants!!

So, I've booked a holiday to Salou (in Spain) and I wanted to check out the hotel. I went to good old Google Maps and started looking but unfortunately the little helpful advice column down the left hand side kept pointing out random references to multiple locations. Out of 5 points that claimed to be Sol Costa Daurada Hotel, not one of them was pointing directly on top of the actual hotel. (The closest it got was the Hotel next door). But by squinting at the brochure and the satellite image I could figure out which hotel was mine by comparing the shape of the pool.
"Corporate cartographers are demolishing thousands of years of history - not to mention Britain's remarkable geography - at a stroke by not including them on maps which millions of us now use every day."
Is this just another example of how Google is getting lazy and sloppy now it is a market leader?

Friday, 29 August 2008

We're racing for pinks!

Pffffft... we all know who's going to win.

(Hint: the one that can travel through time)

Oh, go on, have some FAT DOG pics....

UK (pet) fat map

Oh, with the sheer excitement of the recent publication of obesity figures in the UK, the newspapers and webnewsites have been talking about FAT MAPS. Unfortunately after 10mins of searching (yes, that’s about the limit of my research) I couldn’t find a decent FAT MAP that covered the whole of the UK in detail (maybe that’s too shocking an image?). Fear not, FAT MAP lovers… have an old (2007) map about our overweight pets!

Besides, I’m saddened by so many local newspapers trying to label their local towns/cities as FAT HOTSPOTS (as if that’s some kind of achievement). Also the Idea of a FAT HOTSPOT makes me think of sweat rash….. bleeeeughh.

Disarm the enemy with cuteness

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

He's a good man...

Taking the Mickey....

There was the time that Disney threatened to sue three Florida day-care centers for painting Disney figures on their walls. And this year, Disney did sue a home-based business for $1 million after a couple put on children's parties with ersatz Eeyore and Tigger costumes.
But when will they let go of Mickey Mouse?
Douglas Hedenkamp, a Georgetown University law student, examined copyright registration forms at the Library of Congress. He went to UCLA's archives and watched old shorts, noting the same cartoon title cards. He agreed: They revealed an excess of ambiguity.
Disney legal advisors were not amused. General Counsel Louis Meisinger wrote back that it would be "inconceivable that any modern court would find any confusion about the identity of the proprietor of Mickey Mouse cartoons."He even threatened Hedenkamp with legal action if the young scholar openly advanced such claims.

Oh yeah... finished that book a while back!

Sorry, I sort of let the whole thing slip my mind; probably because the ending was such a crushing disappointment. Yes it’s true, the last Dark Sun book ever was deemed non-cannon due the wild ending (no worse than the Prism Pentad’s). It was the last 4-5 chapters that fell on their face. I was nearing the end of the book and realised (with horror) that there wasn’t enough space left to continue the story of the Sorcerer king’s beginnings. I happily would have sacrificed the pointless sub-plots to learn more about Hammanu’s early Sorcerer King status…. But sadly that’s not likely to ever happen now.
I really wanted to know more about Yaramuke, Bodach and Waverly. So now it looks like I will have to use my own imagination to fill in the blanks (again). I might even post some of those ideas on here (although not sure if a blog is the right format?)
Anyway, loved the book… hated the ending.

Lightning strikes!

How lightning initially forms is still a matter of debate: Scientists have studied root causes ranging from atmospheric perturbations (wind, humidity, friction, and atmospheric pressure) to the impact of solar wind and accumulation of charged solar particles. Ice inside a cloud is thought to be a key element in lightning development, and may cause a forcible separation of positive and negative charges within the cloud, thus assisting in the formation of lightning.
For some reason, unknown to me, I have always been facinated by lightning. I don't get to see many lightning storms (1-2 a year) but when the opportunity arises I will always be captivated by them.

Monday, 25 August 2008

I know what I want for x-mas.

Kricfalusi said that he refined the "Director-Unit system" for The Ren and Stimpy Show.
Bill Wray said that he and Kricfalusi met to "sit around and discuss how really good cartoons died in 1961." Kricfalusi and Wray attributed the decline to the rise of parent groups asking for cartoons to take "educational" approaches. He added that the creators of Ren and Stimpy did not want to create an "educational" series and that the stance bothered Nickelodeon.
Wray added that the creators did not try to "be contemporary" regarding jokes.
Kricfalusi said that when he "got to do everything my way on Ren and Stimpy" the group "eventually" created storyboards with larger panels in order to allow for introduction of continuity and new ideas, alteration of the sequences of the stories, and to "sculpt the stories into shape" via input from "other good story artists" and feedback from pitch meetings.
Kricfalusi said that he created commercials for nonexistent products because the Federal Communications Commission would not allow for him to place real commercials in the series. (However, the FCC has no jurisdiction over cable channels such as Nickelodeon; he may have meant the channel's internal Standards & Practices department.)

Stinky WizzleTeats sings.......

"I told you I'd SHOOT... but you didn't believe me!!!!!"

My childhood (um late teens) was so messed up by this. I still think it's a good song though. Happy, Happy, Joy Joy........

Friday, 22 August 2008

Let the Sex Olympics.... BEGIN!

I am often asked if the Olympic village - the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world's top athletes for the duration of the Games - is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is. I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point.

He got jiggy a total of two times....

Which all begs a question, or possibly many questions. First, and most importantly, how can one get access to the village? The bad news is that you can't, unless, of course, you happen to be an athlete with the relevant accreditation. But secondly, where does this furnace of sexual energy come from? Or, to put it another way, why do sportsmen and women have such explosive libidos? I am not implying, for one moment, that every athlete in Beijing is at it. Just that 99 per cent of them are.

Sorry, but the thought of making love to a Russian shot-putter has left the taste of vomit in my mouth. Also I'm concerned about those Chinese gymnastic under-agers being exposed to all this testosterone fuelled orgies.

I have troubles with viewing

I've been having trouble viewing the latest Unforgotten realms ep. So, I've decided to embed it into my blog. Please watch... (I can't seem to get beyond 10mins before it freezes)

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

The GOD of geeks!?

His official title is continuity database administrator for the Lucas Licensing arm of Lucasfilm—which means Leland Chee keeps meticulous track of not just the six live-action movies but also cartoons, TV specials, scores of videogames and reference books, and hundreds of novels and comics.
So Chee spends three-quarters of his typical workday consulting or updating the Holocron (Jedi database that looks like a silver cube). He also approves packaging designs, scans novels for errors, and creates Talmudic charts and documents addressing such issues as which Jedi were still alive during the Clone Wars and how long it takes a spaceship to get from Dagobah, where Yoda trained Luke Skywalker, to Luke's homeworld of Tatooine. The Keeper of the Holocron takes this very seriously: "Someone has to be able to say, 'Luke Skywalker would not have that color of lightsaber."

I am still not sure how good/bad a job like Leland's would be.

Saturday, 16 August 2008

V is for.... very sore love nuts

Please watch these opening titles for V (1984 TV sci-fi). At 1:24 (or theresabouts) our hero decides to take-out the enemy by risking permenant damage to his reproductive facilities. Which strikes me as being very brave and stupid as surely they will be needed to repopulate our Earth once the lizard-men from outer space have left (taking all our gerbils with them)

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Do you want to see some puppies?

Here is my favourite quote from Fundies say the darndest things...
Masturbation can sometimes be wrong and it can sometimes not. If you masturbate thinking about how pretty the flowers are and how you want a puppy, essentially that’s not wrong. But most times, that is not the case. I believe that when one masturbates a high percentage of the time they are fantasizing about a sexual partner therefore making masturbation lust. Lust, as the Bible states, is a sin. But masturbation is something that people in general should stay away from because it’s hard not to lust whilst doing it.

Ray Bellisario?

London’s first proper paparazzo was undoubtedly Mr Ray Bellisario. He is said to have disliked the Queen’s family. This may or may not be true. What is certain is that they disliked him with a vengeance, particularly so Prince Philip. Deeply frustrated, Philip pleaded with the Queen, ‘Can’t we make an exception? Can’t we send him to the Tower?’
She shook her head, ‘Not any longer, dear.’
Ray used to go for long walks down the Mall, pushing a pram, and keeping his eyes peeled for any royal who may have strayed out of the palace or a royal nanny wheeling a push chair. Like a boy scout, he was always prepared. For inside the pram he was pushing was not a wee baby but a wee old fashioned 35mm camera with a long lens.
One of Bellisario’s big early scoops was at Windsor Great Park. He got a tip off that Prince Charles and Princess Margaret used to go water-skiing at Virginia Water on summer weekends. So one night Ray climbed up a tree and sat and waited. His patience paid off. He got a sensational series of shots of Charles clowning around on the water, one hand gripping the ski rope and the other holding a chair behind him, giving the impression he was skiing sitting down.
And then there was Princess Margaret, skiing in a wet suit, the sort of pictures never before seen of the royal family. They were sensational and were splashed across the pages of Paris Match and other foreign magazines. Bellisario is also said to have taken a picture of a topless princess frolicking on honeymoon on the lawns of Balmoral Castle.
He drove Prince Philip potty. In fact the Duke of Edinburgh became really paranoid about Bellisario and started checking out all the suits of armour in the various palaces. He wouldn’t pass a suit of armour without flipping open the visor to see if Bellisario was lurking inside. At the time Philip went around growling, ‘I’ve got a reputation for being nasty to photographers – bloody nasty if they poke a long lens through a keyhole into my private life. I don’t mind photographers doing their job as long as they stick to their designated place.’

Unfortunately I failed to find anything more on Ray or even the infamous Princess Margaret water-skiing picture (on the interweb). The pictures were shown on FIVE last night... so foolishly I thought they would be easy to Google.

Sunday, 10 August 2008


fail owned pwned pictures

Bebo choosen as Earth ambassador - IT'S WAR!!!!

This week it was announced that documentary-maker RDF and Bebo, a 'social networking site' , are to use a big radio telescope in Ukraine to send a powerful focused beam of information - 500 messages from the public in the form of radiowaves - to a nearby star called Gliese 581.

A 'mere' 20 light years (120 trillion miles) away, Gliese may also be home to one or possibly two Earth-like planets.

I have a feeling that if there is a galactic equivelent to an ASBO, then Earth will receive it next week.

Here is an example from the 1st Bebo profile I just looked at...

One stormy night in November my crew went to rob this drug dealer they'd caught out in our turf. They wanted to rob him and make an example of him for selling shit on our patch. I went along coz i knew there was hard cash involved. I didnt care who it was... I was out for that dough. we jumped him quickly to make sure he didn't get a chance to use any weapons. I knocked him to the ground and started layin into him, dragged his hoodie off his head to get a picture of this so called 'top dealer' battered an bruised to bluetooth it to other dealers. that was our trademark.
big shout out to the Gliese westside massive!!!!

The truth is out there

I missed the whole Montauk monster hoo-ha. I saw a few links and noticed it on a few news sites, but I never looked into it. I'm only taking notice now because it seems that we are close to an explanation. I love myth-busting…

According to and seconded by Gotham News and now Gawker, the creature might be a viral marketing prop for an indie movie about carnival subculture entitled Splinterheads, currently filming in Long Island. The film stars Lea Thompson, Rachel Taylor (Transformers) and Christopher McDonald. On the director’s photo blog, Sersen Park, there is an implied shoutout underneath the monster’s pic to Rachel Goldberg—evidently the sister of the film’s producer Darren Goldberg—who “discovered” the monster and went to the press. See: this giggly interview. A few days ago, the above photo was posted on the film’s official website with the words, “We have the Montauk Monster” but this has since been removed. The page is cached here.

The barley field


Don't really want to say anything about this... just enjoy.

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Worlds most sexiest bench... violated

Unfortunately I find this very humorous. Sex with; traffic cones, bikes, teapots, car exhausts and vacuum cleaners… where is it all leading too? Basically, it’s the porn industries fault; they have saturated the market with guy on girl movies and now we must find new ways to get our jollies.
Police in Hong Kong received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole. He panicked and called the police to help him.

Thanks goes out to Arbroath for this.

I was told once that the day would come when sex in a bus shelter would be commonplace. I never knew that sex with a bus shelter would become more widespread first.

Dogs vs. Cops (with guns)

The mayor states, "This box addressed to my wife, with drugs in it" seems to have triggered the drug raid. Why the police opened fire on the dogs..... who knows?

I really think that there is a fine line between this story and an Onion sketch.

Just when I had kicked the habit.....

Oh no.... they've only gone and put a mmorpg Star Trek in the pipeline!
I've been clean for 3 months. I gave up my Warcraft habit and have been enjoying a life brimming with free time. No more stressful instances or repetitive grind for little or no gain (okay, no gain!).
and now..... they are trying to lure me back!?
Damn their cold (marketing) logic!!!!

Friday, 8 August 2008


Okay.. so Vistabay believes these are the top 10 most addictive drugs (in the world).

1. Heroin

2. Cocaine

3. Methamphetamine

4. Nicotine

5. OxyContin (Oxycodone)

6. Demerol (Meperidine)

7. Vicodin (Hydrocodone)

8. Valium (Diazepam)

9. Xanax (Alprazolam)

10. Ritalin (Methylphenidate)

Okay.. well 1st off they have fallen into the mistake of "the World" = USA.

I also see they have not listened to Brian Ferry's warning that LOVE is the drug we should all be concerned about. He's a musician, so he should know all about what's going to be in the top 10. Plus, they don't (and can't) quantify how much physical or psycological addiction someones going to have to any drug.

But.... people will always love their lists.

(seems like every other TV show is a List TV countdown show)

(Oh and the picture is a police van steaking-out a chemists shop... yes, a bit random, I know)

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Oh we do like to be beside the seaside......

The 30-metre (98 ft) long blow-up church -- staffed by priests ready to take confession -- will debut on Saturday on the Adriatic coast in the Molise region, an organiser said.
"There will be four or five people singing, with music about God," said Chiara Facci with Catholic group Sentinelli del Mattino. Night time activities, which will not include Mass, will run from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.
The first attempt to inaugurate the inflatable church last month on the holiday island of Sardinia failed after strong winds forced organisers to relocate, she said.
Big cities like Rome and Milan empty in August, when Italians head to the beach for summer holidays, leaving streets empty and many businesses closed. Churches are hardly immune, and also see their congregations thin.
On the Mediterranean coast, nuns from a convent near the southern Italian city of Naples have relocated to beach cabins to join holidaymakers saying the rosary. An adjoining altar was set up under two tents.
"The concept of a beach-convent is something that is appreciated by vacationers and the nuns themselves," priest Antonio Rungi, who helped spearheaded the initiative, told Italian news agency ANSA.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Prison food sure is yummy...

COLUMBUS, Ohio — An inmate scheduled for execution in October says he's so fat that Ohio executioners would have trouble finding his veins and he might not be properly anesthetized.

HIS LAWYERS cite a document filed by a prison nurse in 2003 that said Cooey had sparse veins and that executioners would need extra time. Cooey is 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 267lb, according to the lawsuit.
Cooey, 41, was sentenced to die for raping and murdering two University of Akron students in 1986. A federal judge granted him a last-minute reprieve in 2003. In April, he lost a challenge to Ohio's lethal injection process when the U.S. Supreme Court said he had missed a deadline to file a lawsuit.
Cooey's execution is scheduled for Oct. 14.
In his latest lawsuit, attorneys for Cooey say a drug he is taking for migraine headaches could diminish the effectiveness of the first of three drugs Ohio uses in its execution process. Cooey's use of the drug Topamax, a type of seizure medication, may have created a resistance to thiopental, the drug used to put inmates to sleep before two other lethal drugs are administered, That's a real concern for Cooey, his public defender, Kelly Culshaw Schneider, said Monday. "All of the experts agree if the first drug doesn't work, the execution is going to be excruciating," she said.
I'm neither 100% for or against the death penalty but if I had to find a way to end this killer's life
Hmmmm... how about up'ing the dose? No? Okay, well I bet he's going to hang quite easily, with all that weight, his neck would snap like a twig? Pump him full of amphetamines until October? If I'm finding it hard to sympathise with a rapist and murderer's plight it's just because I had a bad day.

Ssssshhhhhhh....!!!! I'm reading

Just a quinth of the way through it, so far.

I am deeply saddened, in the knowledge ,that this was the last Dark Sun book. As you all know, I am a mul who cares with all my heart for the Tablelands and Athas although the existence of this book escaped me until a year ago. I finally sourced a (cheap enough) copy from Canada.

So far, The Rise and Fall of a Dragon King has not disappointed. Okay, Lynn Abbey seemed to have disregarded previous sourcebook descriptions of Urik and has made the city her own. I found her first book The Brazen Gambit quite a struggle to get in to... it seemed to have a very slow pace and displayed too many emotional updates on the characters for a Dark Sun novel. Eventually I got past that and began to appreciate how well she had fleshed out the city of Urik (especially the ranks of the Templarate).

I certainly don't agree with her belief that elves would ride on kanks or that the Oba of Gulg is a weak sorcerer queen. She also paints a picture of a rather magic free Athas where the templars rarely cast any spells for fear of asking for their sorcerer king's magic. Even in her Athas the druids use little or no magic. Elemental clerics seem to want to deify acts of nature... but rarely (if ever) cast magic. Not a mention of any Veiled Alliance or barely any mention of defilers. Hardly anyone uses the way... this is where I begin to wonder Lynn was ever sat down and told any basics about the world of Athas.

Okay, so if you can look past all this... then what you are looking at is a stripped down very basic version of Athas. Athas minus the common use of psionics and magic.
..... and so far an interesting wee book.

Monday, 4 August 2008

WORST super hero EVER!!!!!

NEW YORK -- He calls himself "Jimmy Justice," a self-styled "cop-arazzi," armed only with a video camera as he prowls the streets of New York looking for law enforcement officers who are breaking the law. His targets are illegally parked city government vehicles -- particularly cars of traffic cops blocking bus stops, sitting in "no parking" zones or double-parked. Cop cars blocking fire hydrants make him
particularly incensed.

Oh dear... with all the other injustice in the world... he's focused on illeagal parking!? So does he just delete the tapes of cops beating down perps or taking back-handers?

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Must be witchcraft

fail owned pwned pictures

"Pedophillias dreamus"

Once again Harry's lack of paying attention in the Defence against the Dark Arts class got him into a whole heap of trouble.

Time to varmit.......

Ate something you shouldn't have?
Fear not!
This image is a natural emetic.....

Fat hotspots

People of England (sadly that's the only info I have) here is a map of your land with all the info that you'll ever need on where to go to find a fatty.
Think of this as public service brought to you via the SUN. (It's about half way down the page)
Now you can increase the chances of meeting the oversized partner of your dreams or maybe you'll just know where the best place is to find a £5 all-you-can-eat buffet? Local councils are already girding their loins and thinking about the road repair bills.

Saturday, 2 August 2008

I'm calling you out!!!

In the battle of the interweb crazies there can be only ONE!

I've set my head on fire! Now, show me what you've got!

Yes, one day we will all see a man eating his own head..... and what a sad day that will be.

Only ONE use for the new Toyota Winglet....

Yes.... now get yourself one white bedsheet and cut out two eyeholes. Jump on the new Toyota Winglet and Voila! You have yourself one scary ghost that glides around your neighbourhood at a terrifying 3.7mph.

"3.7mph!?" I hear you cry? Yes... sadly we will not see any spectacular Winglet crashes on You Tube... *sigh*

Friday, 1 August 2008

Worlds oldest joke - apparently not the French?

The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.
It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

From Reuters

So: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? ......... Dr. Dre.
I also like: The 7 dwarves are in a hot tub all feeling Happy! Happy leaves, so they all feel Grumpy instead!

Oh I gotta stop before my sides split :)